Entire team is terrible, says player with 0 points
MIAMI, FLORIDA – What started as a routine online session of Team Fortress 2 quickly turned into an exercise in frustration this Monday for Miami resident Scott Werner. Werner, who typically takes a sniper role and averages a kill:death ratio of 0.27, found himself infuriated to be randomly placed on “the worst goddamn team on the internet.”
“You don’t understand just how bad these pub scrubs were,” said Werner during one of his frequent breaks waiting to respawn after attempting to kill an enemy Pyro with a melee weapon. “It’s like they have no sense of fucking strategy whatsoever. They’re just moving between the objectives and taking them sequentially. It’s painfully obvious how terrible they are.”
With over 400 hours logged in Team Fortress 2 and fewer than 3% of the game’s achievements unlocked, Werner is, by all accounts, a veteran of the popular first person shooter. For that reason, it was even harder for the long-time player to understand how his team could lose, even though he was leveraging his extensive skills to push the group to victory.
“It just doesn’t add up. I’m doing everything I can, but these gaywads always ruin everything,” he commented while scanning for targets through his rifle’s scope. “I mean, look. I’ve been guarding the final point since the match started, and nobody has even tried to help me. They all ran up to the first control point like fucking traitors. Oh, look, there’s another sniper. Finally.”
Shortly thereafter, Werner’s character was backstabbed by an enemy spy disguised as “xXScott2HottXx.”
Image courtesy of Graur Codrin.