Random Gun Generator to have most guns of any first person shooter
DALLAS, TEXAS – Randy Pitchford, co-founder of Gearbox Software, today announced the up-and-coming development house would be scrapping its plans for Borderlands 2 in favor of a new title, Random Gun Generator. While initial reaction to the Borderlands 2 teaser trailer was positive, Pitchford claimed “It didn’t have what fans really wanted from a Borderlands game. Namely, millions of guns.”
“Random Gun Generator promises to have more guns than any other first person shooter, past or future,” said Pitchford from atop a throne constructed entirely of firearms. “When we released Borderlands for PC, Xbox 360, and Playstation 3, we promised players more guns than they could ever need, find, or want. From Flaming Volcanoes to Flaming Volcanoes x2 and even Flaming Volcanoes x4, the variety and depth of our gun-randomization was unparalleled.” Taking a moment to adjust his cape, Pitchford continued, “But we can do so much more.”
Publicly unveiling Random Gun Generator, Pitchford explained the title would be 100% dedicated to spawning an endless supply of randomly created weapons for players to find, customize, and use. While there were no specifics regarding the setting, genre, characters, or platforms, media in attendance were given bullet-shaped USB flash drives, each of which housed a single 400 MB Excel spreadsheet of gun modifiers. Among the nearly endless list of weapons, GameFawn writers found mention of FN P90, Super Soaker, and Noisy Cricket models, all with over 3,000 modifying parameters each.
“There will truly be no end to the guns and gun mods you can read about in Random Gun Generator. There will be sights, underbarrel slings, ammunition, grips, colors, scents, scopes, runes, triggers, and even distinct molecular compositions.” Pitchford elaborated, “We know real firearms enthusiasts will appreciate the painstaking work we’ve done to make sure a Colt .45 tastes the way a Colt .45 should taste.” When asked to describe how aspects like taste would be implemented, or if that information was indicative of development for a next-generation console, Pitchford declined to comment.
As of time of writing, Gearbox representatives have stated gameplay footage was not available because the graphics engine would be implemented “after every gun was finished.” Pressed to estimate how many total weapons would be in Random Gun Generator, they estimated “a bajillion.”